Mon12182017

LAST_UPDATEMon, 18 Dec 2017 8am

[Video] Porn Company Brazzers Smartphone Parody Highlights The Absurdity Of Phone Announcements

Pic: YoutubePic: Youtube

Porn company Brazzers has decided that it would like to get into the smartphone business. Or at least it would like to create its own Safe-For-Work porn parody of how smartphones are designed and promoted these days with the Brazzers Peach.

Touted as the first porn focused smartphone, the Peach takes existing technology to its logical (and explicit) applications. Including using a penis to unlock the phone (which technically already exists with Apple’s Touch ID) and having a stylus shaped vibrator.

The Peach also has a special splash resistant screen, which Brazzers says is designed to withstand all kinds of liquids.

There’s also the XXXPS feature that lets the user know that the coast is clear to watch porn. Essentially telling people when they have entered a ‘Self-Pleasure Zone’.

Brazzers has introduced its own porn focused AI assistant called ZZ. Naturally, the main use of this assistant is for opening porn playlists; and looking for more pornography to watch.

“Brazzers’ most enthusiastic demographic segments are the millennial generation and antsy Gen-Xers, whom both rely heavily on their smartphones,” shared Brazzers Marketing Director Gary Ticher. “The Brazzers Peach is what our team thinks a porn-optimized smartphone would be, if it actually existed.”

“It’s the the phone that dreams are made of,” he continued.

Disclaimer: This concept is merely a parody and not a real venture Brazzers intends to invest in…

- lowyat.net